The Nuclear Physics Department of the University of Stellenbosch has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 - 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each re-organization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
wheelyboy says:
clever stuff. hahaha
15 January 2010, 1:30 pmHbubblesover says:
lol, fantastic, love it!
Cant you add a ‘T’(for Twitter) on the bookmarks options, so we can add or retweet to Twitter for peeps to read?? I see you’ve added the Facebook option -cool.
H.
16 January 2010, 9:22 amThe Social Bookmarks plug-in doesn’t support Twitter. I’ll have to hack it like I did for Muti
16 January 2010, 9:38 amNick Duncan says:
This is EXCELLENT! haha!!
16 January 2010, 11:20 amJust be careful when mixing governmentium with policium as they will converge to become incredicoruptium and will become considerably unstable and may lead to your lab being overrun by an exponentially fast growing parasites..!
Just in case any of you think that I wrote the content of this post; I didn’t! I received it via email from a friend.
17 January 2010, 10:22 amJaya says:
Haha, this was really funny.
26 January 2010, 11:53 am2010 South Africa says:
Quite an abusive article to Morons
7 May 2010, 11:52 pm